All About Families Newsletter August 3, 2005 Norman Bales, editor JUST VISITING * * You haven’t heard from us in a few weeks. For the past week we have addressed the needs of evacuees from the Gulf Coast. Several thousand of them are seeking shelter in our area in the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina. Most of the people here in Shreveport are from New Orleans. Their needs are great. We are sure you understand why you haven’t received the third part of our book review of _Why Christian Kids Rebel_./ /Please remember all of these devastated people in your prayers. Norman and Ann BOOK REVIEW (Part three*)* //_Why Christian Kids Rebel/_/, by Dr. Tim Kimmel. Nashville, Tennessee, W Publishing Group, a division of Thomas Nelson, 2004, pb, 255 pages. $14.99. Part one of the review ended with a list of reasons for kids’ rebellion. In part two we reviewed Dr. Kimmel’s comments on the prodigal son, which he presents as a Biblical model for dealing with rebellious children. Part three covers chapters four and five. He titles chapter four, “A Lesson from the Italian Stallion.” It’s based on the theme of the Rocky movies. To borrow a line from a different media genre, the Rocky movies are about the “thrill of victory and the agony of defeat. I’ve never seen a Sylvester Stallone movie in my life. Go ahead and accuse me of being culturally challenged if you like, but neither the actor nor his storylines appeal to me. However it is not necessary to go out and rent all the Rocky movies to get the point. Kimmel gives you a thumbnail sketch. He traces the history of a fictional prizefighter named Rocky Balboa. The storyline starts with his first valiant, though unsuccessful attempt at winning the title and continues through Rocky’s euphoric experience of actually becoming the heavyweight champion of the world. It also reports his fall from the pedestal, and then ends when Rocky regains the championship. In the process the man from whom he first took the championship, a fighter named Apollo Creed becomes Rocky’s friend and trains with him. As Rocky prepares for a rematch with Clubber Lane, the challenger who took the heavyweight championship away from him, Apollo puts his finger on Rocky’s problem. He’s lost his passion. His former foe pushed him to get the “eye of the tiger” look back in his eye. As Hollywood would have it, Rocky regains “the eye of the tiger” and then retakes the championship. Kimmel uses the films to illustrate the danger of trading passion for glory. He challenges our complacency by insisting that we often lose our sense of passion, and allow our Christian commitment to become routine. Think about it the next time you attend a church service. What is the conversation about? The spiritual challenges you’ve faced during the previous week? Probably not. The conversation is likely to center around small talk – the weather, sports, business, maybe even some church politics, with some juicy rumors thrown in for good measure. How does this affect the kids? It turns them off. They don’t see your passion. From their perspective, you’re coasting along on your past glory. If it doesn’t matter all that much to you, why should it matter to them? We’ve lost the “eye of the tiger” and if we expect to make a difference in the lives of our children, we’ve got to get it back. The kids are smart. They’ll know whether you have the eye of the tiger or not. In chapter five, he sets out to explain how this loss of passion affects our parenting styles. This time he switches parables. His model is a family of cloggers. Everyone in the family gets involved in clogging, which totally escapes me since I am lacking in natural rhythm. However I get his point. The family’s entire life is built around clogging. They’ve won championships in clogging contests, and clogging participation is passed from one generation to another. But here’s the problem. It’s the family’s hobby. The hobby takes up so much of their time that they live one-dimensional lives. Kimmel is concerned that we may view the Christian faith in exactly the same way. It’s an activity that we’re “into.” So often when we’re “into” a hobby our children do not share our enthusiasm. Despite what I said about rhythm, I’m “into” guitar playing. I might add that I’m not very good. Not one of my children has chosen to take up the guitar, although my grandson is taking lessons now. I have hopes that he might become a virtuoso. My children never saw my guitar playing as a passion. Sometimes I go for weeks without picking it up, although I’ve never decided I’m going to give it up. If parents approach the Christian faith the way I approach guitar playing, they’re probably going to be disappointed with their children’s reaction to Jesus Christ and him crucified. Kimmel observes, “The good news is that although Christianity can be treated like a hobby, an authentic relationship with Christ can’t.” In our homes our relationship with Christ must not degenerate into a family tradition. It may sound scary, but we make a mistake when we try to make sure our children share all of our political beliefs, our particular “slant” on the teachings of the Bible, our worship style preferences, and musical tastes. I once knew a man who contemplated writing down all of his convictions in the hope that his children would not stray from them in adulthood. That’s the kind of thing that often happens when Christianity is seen as a hobby. We’re like cloggers passing their hobby on to the next generation. If our children stay with the church, their faith will be the one imposed on them by their parents. It will not be an owned faith; it will be a hand-me-down faith. Why do kids sneak around and smoke when they know their parents disapprove? Why do they get involved in sexual misconduct? Why do they drink and use drugs? You don’t do any of those things, so why do they think they have to? From Kimmel’s perspective, there are three fatal flows that frequently show up when Christian kids rebel. 1. They have problems understanding that God is real. They’ve never hammered out a personal faith of their own, so He’s not a daily presence in their lives. 2. They aren’t greatly impressed with the seriousness of sin. Having lived in a spiritually sterilized environment, they don’t really appreciate the grace of God and they are sitting ducks for the prince of the power of the air. 3. They don’t do their own thinking. We give them the answers, and a few proof texts, which proves the validity of those answers insofar as we are concerned. Thus they never discover truth for themselves. Does it sound hopeless? Well we do have some formidable challenges, but all is not lost. Stay with us as we continue the review, and you may breathe a little easier. More to Follow Norman Bales, reviewer ADDRESSES Southern Hills Church of Christ 9080 Southwood Drive Shreveport, Louisiana 71118 (318) 686-2190 E-mail: Norman Bales: <nlbales@...> Ann Bales: <Ann@...> Mikal Frazier: <mikalfraz@...> "Jim Bales" <jbales@...> Web: <http://www.allaboutfamilies.org/> <http://www.sohills.org> subscribe <allaboutfamilies-subscribe@...> unsubscribe <allaboutfamilies-unsubscribe@...> archives <http://associate.com/groups/allaboutfamilies/>