[anzac] Re: FALSE LOVE

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From: "Andrew Strom" <prophetic@...>
Date: Sun, 2 Nov 2003 14:26:59 +1300
From:           "Donna Taylor" <donnajtaylor@...>
Date sent:      	Mon, 27 Oct 2003 15:46:55 -0500


Just had to write and share my own experience. I was one 
who realized that I did not have the true love and compassion 
of Jesus toward other Christians; nevertheless, I tried to do 
the loving and compassionate acts, and be a true servant. 
I was not fooled, and neither was God, for my heart was not 
in it. I was just being obedient, and then beating myself up 
because I felt like a hypocrite.

One evening a friend called at suppertime with a cry for help. 
She had severe hypoglycemia and needed me to bring her 
orange juice. She could not safely drive her car in this 
condition.

I had just put dinner on the table after working all day, and we 
had to lead a training session at a local church in 1 hour. If 
I took her the orange juice, I would have to leave right now, 
skip supper, and then go directly to the church. I was so 
hungry! but nevertheless I knew I had to go. 

As I was driving, I was again beating myself up because I 
knew I was going out of obedience, and actually resented 
having to go. I was crying out to God, telling Him, "please 
make me want to go, from my heart, and not just obedience. 
I know you love a cheerful giver, and I'm not! The Lord 
answered, "Greater love has no man than when he lays 
down his own life for his friend."

I told Him, "Lord, I've been trying, but I just can't do this." 
I stopped at the store, got the juice and a sandwich, 
delivered the juice to Liz, and arrived at the church just in 
time.

One year later, or thereabouts, I got a call from the same 
friend, and she was going through a particularly hard time, 
and was greatly depressed. It was my husband's birthday, 
and, you guessed it, we were just about to go out for lunch. 
I never thought twice, I called my husband and told him, 
"Liz is in trouble. We have to take her to the noon prayer
time at church." I was not the least bit concerned whether 
it was a birthday, or we were missing lunch, my only concern 
was for her. We took her for prayer, she got the victory, and 
we all went for a late lunch.

The point I am making is that only God can change our heart. 
It is not something we can accomplish by repentance, or 
reading or even praying. We simply have to acknowledge 
our helplessness and our dependence on Him. I have no 
Idea how or when He accomplished this change in me, but 
He definitely showed me the answer to my prayer. 

My prayer for you is that you cast all your care on Him, and 
He will bring it to pass.

-Donna Taylor.