From: "Donna Taylor" <donnajtaylor@...> Date sent: Mon, 27 Oct 2003 15:46:55 -0500 Just had to write and share my own experience. I was one who realized that I did not have the true love and compassion of Jesus toward other Christians; nevertheless, I tried to do the loving and compassionate acts, and be a true servant. I was not fooled, and neither was God, for my heart was not in it. I was just being obedient, and then beating myself up because I felt like a hypocrite. One evening a friend called at suppertime with a cry for help. She had severe hypoglycemia and needed me to bring her orange juice. She could not safely drive her car in this condition. I had just put dinner on the table after working all day, and we had to lead a training session at a local church in 1 hour. If I took her the orange juice, I would have to leave right now, skip supper, and then go directly to the church. I was so hungry! but nevertheless I knew I had to go. As I was driving, I was again beating myself up because I knew I was going out of obedience, and actually resented having to go. I was crying out to God, telling Him, "please make me want to go, from my heart, and not just obedience. I know you love a cheerful giver, and I'm not! The Lord answered, "Greater love has no man than when he lays down his own life for his friend." I told Him, "Lord, I've been trying, but I just can't do this." I stopped at the store, got the juice and a sandwich, delivered the juice to Liz, and arrived at the church just in time. One year later, or thereabouts, I got a call from the same friend, and she was going through a particularly hard time, and was greatly depressed. It was my husband's birthday, and, you guessed it, we were just about to go out for lunch. I never thought twice, I called my husband and told him, "Liz is in trouble. We have to take her to the noon prayer time at church." I was not the least bit concerned whether it was a birthday, or we were missing lunch, my only concern was for her. We took her for prayer, she got the victory, and we all went for a late lunch. The point I am making is that only God can change our heart. It is not something we can accomplish by repentance, or reading or even praying. We simply have to acknowledge our helplessness and our dependence on Him. I have no Idea how or when He accomplished this change in me, but He definitely showed me the answer to my prayer. My prayer for you is that you cast all your care on Him, and He will bring it to pass. -Donna Taylor.