[dragonraid] Virus Humor

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From: "jackray" <jackray@...>
Date: Sat, 25 Apr 1998 16:34:59 -0400
Thought you all might enjoy these.
Jack

>  Computer Viruses which are on the loose!!
>
>
>  Woody Allen virus:
>  Bypasses the motherboard and turns on a daughter card
>
>  Tonya Harding virus:
>  Turns your .BAT files into lethal weapons
>
>  Paul Revere virus:
>  Warns of an impending virus infection...1 if by LAN, 2 if by C:\
>
>  Ollie North virus:
>  Plays a patriotic .WAV while it shreds your files
>
>  Ronald Reagan virus:
>  Saves your data, but forgets where it's stored
>
>  Jane Fonda virus:
>  Attacks your hard drive's FAT(File Allocation Tables)
>
>  AT&T virus:
>  Every three minutes it tells you what great service you are
>  getting
>
>  MCI virus:
>  Every three minutes it reminds you that your paying too much for
>  the AT&T virus
>
>  Politically Correct virus:
>  Never calls itself a "virus" but instead refers to itself as an
>  electronic microorganism"
>
>  Ross Perot virus:
>  Activates every component in your system, just before the whole
>  thing quits
>
>  Arnold Schwarzenegger virus:
>  Terminates and tells resident; It'll be back.
>
>  Adam and Eve virus:
>  Takes a couple bytes out of your Apple computer
>
>  Congressional virus #1:
>  The computer locks up, screen splits erratically with a message
>  appearing on each half blaming the other side for the problem
>
>  Congressional virus #2:
>  Runs every program on the hard drive simultaneously but doesn't
>  allow the user to accomplish anything
>
>  Airline virus:
>  You're in Dallas, but your data is in Singapore
>
>  PBS virus:
>  Your computer stops every few minutes to ask for money
>
>  Jimmy Hoffa virus:
>  Your programs can never be found again
>
>  LAPD virus:
>  It claims it feels threatened by the other files on your PC and
>  erases them in "self-defense"
>
>  O.J. Simpson virus:
>  It claims that it did not, could not and would not delete two of
>  your files and vows to find the virus that did it
>
>  Bill Clinton virus:
>  It maintains it "absolutely never" resided with any other viruses





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